I zipped the suitcases shut, leaving only room in my backpack for the last electronics and other belongings. To my surprise, a rare flicker of nervousness rose inside me. Good heavens, I truly am about to venture through a foreign country alone for three months.
I cannot tell whether I have packed too much or too little. If I have brought too little, I can of course buy what I need locally; yet a quiet unease makes me wonder whether that would waste too many resources. If I bring too much, I fret instead over squandering precious luggage space.
Could this endlessly shifting worry be one facet of middle-aged anxiety?
When I first set out for Germany alone, what I felt was anticipation.
I do not know why, with the passage of time and my arrival in middle age, a furtive timidity has crept into my heart instead.
Has the curse that the older we grow, the more timid we become really come true?
By a turn of chance, I discovered a LINE group for Taiwanese people in Osaka.
Far more Taiwanese people live in Japan than in Germany. I quietly slipped in to lurk, partly to give myself a reserve line of support, but also out of curiosity: might Taiwanese people living in Japan display a different character from those living in Germany?
To make sure the system will remain usable after I leave Germany, I spent today continuing to race through its design.
I still have the whole of tomorrow; in the evening, I will head to the airport and spend the night there.
I will stop here for today and let my mind empty itself.
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